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Finding the right marriage partner

November 2018

Marriage might not be as popular as it once was, but many young people will still look forward to that special day when they will stand next to the person they have chosen to spend their lives with and say, ‘I do’.

Indeed, in a recent survey, 72 per cent of 18 to 35 year olds still intend to marry. Over 40 years later, I look back fondly on that day when we were all dressed up and celebrated our wedding day with our friends and family.

Of course, it is more than a party; it has a very serious side, as we are making vows to commit ourselves to love and honour one person above all others for the rest of our lives. And whether we recognise it or not, we are making these vows before God.

If the vows that we make are so important, how do we know that we have chosen the right partner? There are two aspects to this: our responsibilities, and God’s provision and plan for us.

(1) Our responsibility: look for the right qualities

We may well be physically attracted to someone who we think might be a suitable partner for us. But most important, we need to consider whether the person is a Christian and shares our spiritual priorities and desires. This is so that we can share the most important aspect of our lives, our knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, and that together we can follow him wherever he leads.

Also, consider a person’s inner qualities, such as whether they are caring or have a sense of humour. Do we share similar interests? There is, however, also that special intangible factor that makes that person just right for you.

(2) Marriage as being part of God’s plan for our lives

What is exciting for a Christian is knowing that God has a perfect plan for our lives, which is far better than we could ever work out for ourselves. He has said: ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts’ (Isaiah 55:9).

Providing we are prayerfully looking to honour God and be wise about our choice, we can trust him for all the decisions we have to make in our lives, including big ones such as whom we should marry. If God wants you to get married, he will bring that special person into your life, and over time, both of you will sense that it is God’s will that you should marry each other.

It may be that you are still not sure that this is the right person for you. If so, keep praying that God will make you sure, one way or the other. Even pray that God will take this person out of your life if it is not God’s will that you should marry them.

Seek God’s guidance and trust in him. ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight’ (Proverbs 3:5-6).

This article was taken from the website of This is a Christian website for young people, offering a new resource for young people aged 13+, with articles on relationships, marriage, sex and wise living from a biblical perspective.

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