On 14 February 2010 my life changed for ever. My journey until then had been rough and rocky. It started nearly 15 years ago when a close friend died in a house fire. I started asking questions — Where is he? Where has he gone?
I went to see some psychic ladies, but they mainly told me a load of mumbo jumbo and I soon realised they were only interested in taking my money.
I had to keep searching to find an answer, so my next port of call was my Auntie Marina and Uncle Tom who have been Christians for long time. If anyone could shed light on the subject, they were the people who could.
I had so many questions for them and I will never forget how patient and non judgemental they were. Through the past 15 years, I have been searching for fulfilment by feeding my soul with things that were very bad for me spiritually, physically and mentally.
I fed the emptiness in my heart with stealing, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, expensive clothes and shoes, work and boyfriends.
Of course, all the ‘highs’ these provided me with were short-lived and did not give me inner peace and total contentment. Believe me, I have tried just about every high there is and nothing has even come close to the total joy I have in my life now.
In January 2008 I reached my lowest point, being told that my pregnancy had failed, and then being beaten black and blue with my dead baby still inside me. I’ve never felt so weak and alone.
I do remember praying during this dark time. But I looked in the mirror and hated the person looking back at me. Eventually, I booked myself in to see a counsellor and within three months I started to get back to normal.
In summer 2009, some friends brought me to a Baptist church where I met such lovely people. I have been to other churches, but never have I felt quite so warm and at home as I did here. When the pastor speaks, I understand him and can relate to everything he talks about from the Bible.
But the devil was hard at work in my life with the distractions of life, so that I only went to church occasionally. Then, on 14 February 2010, I was in my car on the way to church and something changed in my heart. I felt so right and so peaceful, and from that moment knew that something very special was starting to happen in my life. I started to love God.
The tears I shed now are tears of dis-belief that I could hurt someone who loves me so much and allow people to disrespect me through my failings and therefore disrespect the one who loves me so much — the Lord.
The love he has for me is so strong and nothing in my life has ever come close to the natural high I am feeling since trusting Jesus as my Saviour.
Since then, I have told nearly everybody I have come into contact with about my new relationship with God. Every day I cannot imagine feeling any happier or more content.
I no longer feel the need to buy clothes and shoes; I no longer care about money. I am the poorest financially I have ever been, but feel like a millionaire because I have everything I need!
I am in the right place — in my heart, mind and soul. Jesus has forgiven all my sin. You too can find this inner peace and forgiveness of sin through the Lord Jesus Christ.