Extracted from The Redeemed Man (Reformation Heritage Books, 2025) and reused with permission.
I write this essay as a lifelong Christian bachelor to my fellow single Christian brothers. It is for Christians, not non-Christians; for men, not women. However, I write for all kinds of single Christian men: for the never-married, the divorced, and the widowed.
Most men will marry at some time. The average age of marriage, 30, is rising, and the rate of marriage is declining due to cohabitation ('living together'), divorce, homosexuality, and other factors. In America, half of all first marriages and more than half of second marriages end in divorce. Singleness is an issue that needs to be addressed biblically, wisely, and compassionately.
Loneliness
When God created the first man, he said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone' (Genesis 2:18). Adam needed a wife to propagate the human race and care for the garden of Eden. He felt the natural desire for a wife and was lonely even before he sinned. Loneliness is not a sin. Most single men are lonely and want to be married.
They want to love and be loved. As Rachel (Genesis 30:1) and Hannah (1 Samuel 1) wept and prayed for a child, many men weep and beg God for a wife. The loneliness can be unbearable. They attend friends' weddings and rejoice with them, then go home to a lonely little apartment. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, 'Two are better than one... Woe to him that is alone.'
The loneliness increases as men pass through the stages of life, worrying that they will never marry and that no one will care for them in their old age. Sometimes, they are more concerned about their careers and it catches up with them in middle age. They feel like orphans.
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